


willingly sacrificed

by jessenigma



Category: Sarai-ya Goyou | House of Five Leaves
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Memories, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 22:12:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17795696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessenigma/pseuds/jessenigma
Summary: Masa remembers only fleeting impressions of those final days in Edo.





	willingly sacrificed

Masa remembers only fleeting impressions of those final days in Edo.

There’s the worry underlying the rough anger in Ume's voice as he flings accusations at Ginta. A warning note in Yagi's voice as Masa tries once, twice, to plead for Yaichi's life. The word "family" slipping from the mouth of Katsura-ya's mistress. The sound of coins clinking inside the box he gives Ginta, and the boy's curious tone.

The rough feel of the road beneath his fingertips as he stretches low, pressing his forehead to the ground. Yagi's presence looming over him, the weight of the man's gaze almost tangible on the back of his neck. The nervous twisting of his stomach at the suggestion of a bout. Sweat turning cold as it trickles down his face, Masa too intent on the wooden sword pressing ever closer to waste time wiping it away.

There’s the sickening taste of desperation in the back of his throat even as he falls to his knees once more and offers up his livelihood to Yagi in exchange for the life of a man he cannot bear to live without.

In some tiny, distant part of his mind, he is surprised that it doesn't sting at all to bend so low, to go begging to the man he'd been trying so hard to prove himself to. If it had hurt so much to take the laborer job to save himself from starvation, why does it not hurt to press his swords into Yagi's hands on someone else's behalf?

But Masa knows the simple answer to this question already. Fleeting though his memories may be, the final moments of his final hours in the city are etched deep into his mind.

There’s the sight of Yaichi's gaunt frame and haunted eyes as he limps slowly across the bridge, clutching the railing ever tighter as he approaches Masa. The brush of Yaichi's hand as he reaches out in confusion, asking where Masa's sword has gone, and the faint trembling of a body nearly too exhausted to stand. Heat rising from the lash marks on Yaichi's back as Masa gingerly places a supportive arm around him, the man's weight leaning a little heavier on him with each step they take out of the city. The painfully slow pace he forces himself to take, no matter how eager he is to reunite Yaichi with the others in the west.

The sharp medicinal reek of the salve he slathers on Yaichi in the quiet of a tiny room in a tiny inn far too close to Edo for Masa's ease, and the sharp silence of necessary words not yet spoken that falls between them that first night. Yaichi's quiet breathing as he sleeps, and the bristle of his unshaven face under Masa's hand as he tentatively reaches out in the dark to assure himself that this is no dream and he won’t awaken to a world where this man is dead and gone.

There’s the overwhelming taste of relief that the only thing Masa has truly lost in all this time is his own foolish pride, willingly sacrificed alongside everything else for Yaichi.

There could be no hurt now.

**Author's Note:**

> My thanks to the people who willingly let me yammer on at them about how much I love Masa (and the nameless cat) and my apologies for not giving them more Masa/Yaichi now
> 
> I love to talk about House of Five Leaves and Natsume Ono's work in general - give me a shout on twitter at [jessinbooks](https://twitter.com/jessinbooks)


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